Pvt. Pinko's Parade Of Parody


BEFORE THERE WAS…

before

Before There Was… Dasani…
There Was… Water…

Before There Was…Victoria’s Secret…
There Was… Vicky’s Mildly Surprising Fact…

Before There Was… Quik…
There Was… Slo…

Before There Was… Siemens
There Was… Siex…

Before There Was… Lemon Pledge…
There Was… Lemon Half-Hearted Promise…

Before There Was… Danone Yogurt…
There Was… Dasome…

Before There Was… Gucci…
There Was… Gucci Gucci Coo…

Before There Was… UPS…
There Was… DWNS…

Before There Was… Swanson’s Hungry Man…
There Was… Swanson’s Peckish Boy…

Before There Was… Ty D Bol…
There Was… Mes E Bol…

Before There Was… General Electric…
There Was… Colonel Electric…

Before There Was… Hyundai…
There Was… Hyundawn…

Before There Was… Sony…
There Was… Sony & Cher…

Before There Was…Canon…
There Was… Catapult…

Before There Was… Samsung…
There Was… Samrehearses…

Before There Was… Krazy Glue…
There Was… Slight-LEE-Off Adhesive…

Before There Was… Old Spice…
There Was… Mature Spice…

Before There Was… Aunt Jemima…
There Was… Slutty Single Sister Jemima…

Before There Was… Preparation H…
There Was… Preparation G…

Before There Were… Huggies…
There Were… Handshakies

Before There Was… Photoshop…
There Was… Camera Obscurashop

Before There Was… Fruity Loops…
There Was… Only Curious Semi-Loops…

Before There Was… FedEx…
There Was… FedSignificantOther…

Before There Was… Easy-Off Oven Cleaner…
There Was… Not-So-Easy-Off…

Before There Was… Eggo Waffles…
There Was… Chickeno Waffles…
(mmm…what came before…the eggo or the chickeno…)

Before There Was… Febreze…
There Was… Janbreze…

Before There Was… Burger King…
There Was… Burger Prince…

Before There Was… Finesse Conditioner…
There Was… Clumsy Shampoo…

Before There Was… Fixodent Complete Denture Adhesive Cream…
There Was… Halfassodent Incomplete Denture Adhesive Milk…

Before There Were… Cheerios…
There Was… Grumpios…

Before There Was.. Hugo Boss… 
There Was… Hugo Assistant…

Before There Was.. Just For Men Haircolour… 
There Was… Maybe For Boys Coloured Headbands…

Before There Was… Tide…
There Was… Ripple…

Before There Were… Bratz…
There Were… Infantz…

Before There Was… OxyClean…
There Was… OxyDirty…

Before There Was… Buckley’s Mixture Cough Syrup…
There Was… battery acid…

Before There Was… Lunchables…
There Was… Breakfastables…

Before There Was… I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter…
There Was… I Bet You A Million Dollars It Tastes Like Plain Ol’ Margarine…

Before There Was… Kool Aid…
There Was… LukeWarm Assistance…

Before There Was… Shake N’ Bake…
There Was… Beat N’ Heat….

Before There Was… Frosted Flakes…
There Was… Lightly Glazed Flakes…

Before There Were… Corn Pops…
There Was… Corn Snap, Crackles…

Before There Was… Curves…
There Was… Squigglies…

Before There Were… Mastercraft Tools…
There Were… Apprenticecraft…

Before There Was… Nintendo…
There Was… Nintendon’t…

Before There Was… Marlboro…
There Was… Marlendo…

Before There Was… SmartPop Popcorn…
There Was… regular dumbass corn

Before There Was… EverReady…
There Was… AlmostReady…

Before There Was… Volkswagen…
There Was… Volkswalkin’…

Before There Were… Starbucks…
There Were… Starpennies…

Before There Was… Smirnoff Vodka…
There Was… Smirnon…

Before There Was… Maxwell House…
There Was… Maxwell Apartment…

Before There Was… Taster’s Choice…
There Was… The One Our Taster Didn’t Throw Up After…

Before There Was… Microsoft…
There Was… Microhard…

Before There Was… Citi Bank…
There Was… Countri…

Before There Was… Mercedes-Benz…
There Was… Mercedes-Standz…

Before There Was… Disney…
There Was… Diselbo…

Before There Was… Nokia…
There Was… Yeskia…

Before There Was… Kellogg’s
There Was… Kelltree’s…

All text (c) Copyright 2009 Private Pinko/G. Brogan

Advertisements

Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: