Pvt. Pinko's Parade Of Parody


The Beatles-Rubber Dildo

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This is a “sequel” to the Beatles’ Hate Album, a parody of songs sung by very evil men. Today, we present the Beatles’ gay hate album “Rubber Dildo”, a parody of anti-gay songs, about or sung by very homophobic people.

Enjoy!

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Track 1
Senator Lindsey Graham
Yes, You’re Gay

As sung to “Yesterday”

Yes, you’re gay,
All the trouble you make clearly says
You spread hate so no one thinks you’re that way
But I believe that you are gay

So, Lindsey,
You’re not half the man you claim to be
You’re the very definition of prissy
Oh yes, you’re gay,
You can’t fool me

Why your hate is so
We all know
You’re so very fey
You say things that are wrong
But you love schlong
Yes, you’re gay!

Yes, you’re gay,
You love to pretend you have us swayed
But everyone can see through your dumb charade
You’re a flaming queen
In every way

Why your fate is so
We all know
You like it the back way
You’ll sing the same ol’ song
But you love dong
Yes, you’re gay!
Yes, you’re gay!

————

Track 2
The Republicans
Pink Submarines

As sung to “Yellow Submarine”

In a town where gays are scorned,
Lived men who claim sanctity,
And they made life a living hell
For men who love pink submarines

So they made a bunch of laws
That said that gays were just obscene
And yet when they’re left alone
They yearn for pink submarines

They all live to eat pink submarines
Eat pink submarines, eat pink submarines
They all live to eat pink submarines
Eat pink submarines, eat pink submarines

Our gay friends, they all abhor
They claim they ooze evil from every pore
And they’ll turn all children gay!

They all have such small pink submarines
Small pink submarines, small pink submarines
They all have such small pink submarines
Small pink submarines, small pink submarines

And they’ll claim gays are diseased,
They make God angry, He’s mighty peeved
Guys in drag, lesbian chic
And parades with pink submarines

They all fear we’d see pink submarines
See pink submarines, see pink submarines
They all fear we’d see pink submarines
See pink submarines, see pink submarines

——–

Track 3
The Mormons
Can Buy Us Hate

As sung to “Can’t Buy Me Love”

Can buy us hate, hate
Can buy us hate

We’ll buy us some commercial time, my friends
That says gay marriage isn’t right
Got to stop gay rights, my friends
It’s such an ugly sight
‘Cause we don’t care too much for faggots
But faggots can buy us hate

We’ll spend a lot of money, my friends
Vote for Proposition 8
We may not have long to live
But why not spread a little hate
‘Cause we don’t care too much for homos
But homos can buy us hate

Can buy us hate
We also steal people’s souls
Can buy us hate
No! no! no! no..
(To gay marriage!)

Gays don’t need no wedding rings,
They’re pure evil deep inside
Tell you many terrifying things
We Mormons never lie
‘Now we don’t care too much for lesbos
But lesbos can buy us hate

Can buy us hate
Hope we don’t get exposed
Can buy us hate
No! no! no! no..
(To gay marriage!)

Can buy us hate, hate
Can buy us hate

——–

Track 4
Ted Haggard
No Gay Loving

As sung to “All My Loving”

Close my eyes, dream he’ll kiss it,
I’m “Jones-ing” for a meth hit
Remembering all the things we used to do
But if they have their way,
This world will be crawling with gays,
And then we’ll have to marry emus

Do you want to see guys kissing?
Any morals they are missing!
If they get married, why would we want to!
And then when I’m away
I might be cruised by a gay
And I wouldn’t want to do that to you

No gay loving
Or our marriage is doomed
No gay loving
The Bible says it’s true

Close your eyes and they’ll kiss you
Tomorrow, a pink tutu
Remember what your father always knew
And if i should stray
Then to hell I’ll make my way
Oh Gayle, thank God that i have you

No gay loving
Or our marriage is doomed
No gay loving
The Bible says it’s true
No gay loving
(Except maybe this afternoon)

——–

Track 5
Pat Buchanan
Petty Hate

As sung to “Penny Lane”

With petty hate, there is a preacher showing parishioners
That every gay man is a sinner evil in his soul
And the homosexuals that they know?
Straight to hell they’ll go!

On the corner is Fred Phelps with his family
The little bastards taunt a gay man with their signs
And the man smiles & paddles his behind
Blows them a kiss – how very gay

Petty hate is in our hearts for those gay guys
There behind the flag & religious lies
Just like we did to blacks

With petty hate, there are two rednecks at a country bar
And in walks a teenager who they think is queer
They ask him to join them for a beer
Later, they’ll punch in his spleen

Petty hate is in our hearts for those gay guys
There but for the grace of God go I
Really, this is all just an act

Behind the smelter there is a gang of louts
A pretty girl is trying just to make her way
They call her a “butch dyke” for not wanting to play
She wasn’t one until today

With petty hate, a politician promises change
Swears he’ll repeal that laws that civil rights forsake
Looks like he’s been a big fake
Well, what a shame – there’s no change!

Petty hate is in our hearts for those gay guys
Obama took those fags all for a ride
Those queers, man, they got jacked

Petty hate is in their heart for those gay guys
There’s nothing more than gays that we despise…
Petty hate!

——–

Track 7
John Hagee
A Cross On The University

As sung to “Across The Universe”

Students flowing out
Like endless chains into the Bible belt
Straight young lads & lasses, all pale faced
A cross on the university

Jews tomorrow,
Gays today
We’re fighting them for Christiankind
Politicians & executives

Gays have deviant lifestyles
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind

Intrasigent Christian life
To dance on the grave of civil rights
I’m pleased I’ve served on the Board of
Oral Roberts University

Sins meader through
Restless sinners like the gays
They’ll humble before Him
As we’ll pave His way with
A cross on the university

Gays have deviant lifestyles
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind

Towns gone under,
AIDS is rife & bringing
God’s wrath to those kind
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
It says in the NIV

God’s own great undying love
Which shines upon us like a trillion suns,
Except for gays that is,
For they’ll be damned eternally

Gays have deviant lifestyles
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind
Nothing’s gonna change my mind

Gays have deviant lifestyles
Gays have deviant lifestyles
Gays have deviant lifestyles
Gays have deviant lifestyles

——–

Track 8
Conservative Blacks
Black Jerk

As sung to “Blackbird”

Black jerk saying gays should have no rights
Of all the excuses that one just doesn’t fly
Hypocrite
You were once waiting at a counter for non-whites

Black jerk saying gays should be out of sight
Making all these lies but fail to see
Hypocrite
You were once waiting for your chance to live free

Black jerk why?
Black jerk why?
Boy, hypocrisy has never seen such heights!

Black jerk saying gays are a social blight
Talking just like a racist almost line for line
Hypocrite
You were once waiting to be given civil rights
You were once waiting to be given civil rights
You were once waiting to be given civil rights

——–

Track 9
Karl Rove
Ladyman Donna

As sung to “Lady Madonna”

Ladyman Donna, working in the streets
Wonder how you manage to fend off the heat
I got some money, I’m a Christian gent
What say we get a motel & you earn every cent

Friday night in a man’s embrace
Sunday service with my ex-wife & son
Monday make anti-gay laws in haste
That’s how it’s done!

Ladyman Donna, are those falsies or breasts
Wonder how they’ll feel against my chest

Let’s have some fun
Ladyman Donna, lying on the bed
It’s much more fun this way when gays can’t wed

Tuesday afternoon with Jeff Gannon I’m spending
Wednesday morning on air, lies are spun
Thursday night more Commandments I’m bending
That’s how it’s done!

Ladyman Donna, working in the street
Wonder how you’d like my fat white Christian meat

——–

Track 10
Cops
While Gay Bars We Gently Sweep

As sung to “While My Guitar Gently Weeps “

We book all you queers
Cause we don’t take to guy-on-guy sleeping
While gay bars we gently sweep

We rammed through the door
And we see you gays a-creeping
While gay bars we gently sweep

I don’t know why nobody warned you
This town doesn’t want your manlove
I don’t know of anyone like you
Or of these gay things you do

One look at you queers
And this whole building I want a-burning
While gay bars we gently sweep

My face gets raked
By a drag queen kicking & a-screaming
While gay bars we gently sweep

I don’t know how you got perverted
But you’ll get herded soon
I don’t know with what you’re infected
There’s no cure for you!

One look at you queers
Makes me want your faces to be a-bleeding
While gay bars we gently sweep

Cocks & alcohol?
So gay bars we gently sweep

——–

Track 11
Jerry Falwell
Gay Ripper

As sung to “Day Tripper”

Got a good reason
For taking those sleazy gays out
Got a good reason
For taking those sleazy gays out
Cuz I’m a gay ripper
One way ticket to hell
I find it so wrong
You’ll find out
Oh, you’ll find out

She’s a big dreamer
Her rights are half the way there
She’s a big dreamer
Her rights are half the way there
But I’m a gay ripper
I’ll make her life hell, yeah
I’m such a hateful pig
I’ve grown a snout
It’s a lovely snout

Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink

I’m just a big weasel
Got a dildo on my night stand
I’m just a big weasel
Got a dildo on my night stand now
But I’m a gay ripper
A total hypocrite, yeah
So you won’t find out
No, you can’t find out

Gay ripper
Gay ripper
Yeah…

——–

Track 12
Rick Warren
Don’t Let ‘Em Be

As sung to “Let It Be”

We’ll find society in deep trouble
Letting all these Maries marry
Speaking out for the dumb
Don’t let ’em be

This is our hour of darkness
We are standing up to this disease
Speaking out for Christians
Don’t let ’em be

Don’t let ’em be
Don’t let ’em be
Life wasn’t meant to be fun
Don’t let ’em be

And when what started in the steeples
Soon we’ll have the world agree
Let us end this cancer
Don’t let ’em be

For though these gays are evil hearted
There’s still a chance we’ll set them free
Conversion is the answer
Don’t let ’em be

Don’t let ’em be
Don’t let ’em be
Yeah, rhythm ain’t no dancer
Don’t let ’em be

And when the fight is bloody
God’s will brings every inch of ground we seize
Dine upon their sorrow
Don’t let ’em be

You might find gay marriage amusing
But these fairies all disgust me
Speaking for the laity
Don’t let ’em be

Don’t let ’em be
Don’t let ’em be
They are Hell’s romancers
Don’t let ’em be

Don’t let ’em be
Don’t let ’em be
They drive Mitsubishi Lancers
Don’t let ’em be

——–

Track 13
Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger)
Ticket To Hell

As sung to “Ticket to Ride”

I think I’m gonna be sick
It’s because of the gays, yeah
Those fags are driving me mad
Not going away

They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
But they don’t care!

I say that living with them
Will bring the world down, yeah
For we would never be free
With those pansies around

They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
But they don’t care!

I don’t know why they don’t fear God’s might
They ought to think twice,
They ought to do right by Him

I think I’m gonna be glad
When they go away, yeah
Maybe to an island with
Enough food for 30 days

They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
But they don’t care!

I don’t know why they fail to see the light
They should listen to my advice
If they want cock, then just join the Vatican

Before they gets AIDS & all die
They ought to think twice,
They ought to do right by Him

God said that living in sin
Will bring the world down, yeah
For He doesn’t want those freaks
Hangin’ around

They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
They’ve got a ticket to hell
But they don’t care!

Those fairies don’t care
Those fairies don’t care

——–

Track 14
Your Homophobic Father
Girls

As sung to “Girl”

You know, son, last night I was full of worry
After the talk we had just yesterday
When I find that you like boys which makes me sorry
Still, maybe it’s not too late, you can
Try girls, girls

Maybe the wrong girls turned you down
Your friends are queers, so you think it’s cool
Homosexuality is not good
So I’m hoping you’ll
Try girls, girls

Was I too lenient with the pain when I punished you?
Did I not put the right things in your head?
What can I do to break this “stage” you’re going through?
Well, for starters, I want you instead, to
Try girls, girls

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